Sitting down for an interview is among Donald Trump’s favorite things to do. Number one, it requires him only to sit, which is nice, because have you seen the way that guy stands? It’s like that one Michael Jackson video with all the ski-style leaning, only with no cool hat — that has to be exhausting.
But the sitting isn’t the only relief for the President. A seated interview usually indicates a non-confrontational one, which means a network or host that supports him. And Trump being Trump, he can always just storm out of the interview if he doesn’t like the way it’s all going down.
But the biggest advantage to a seated interview for Donald is a combination of all of those things: A comfortable, non-confrontational setting with a host that likes him and the ability to leave at any time always leads invariably to one outcome — softball questions.
Imagine the questions, then, that Donnie might get from David Brody, a right-wing evangelical from the Christian Broadcasting Network. No, I take it back, no need to send your brain reeling in a million crazy directions, I’ll just tell you.
David Brody asked the President of the United States whether he believes that God put him in office.
Now, never mind the fact that the idea that God chooses our presidents means that Christians have to reckon with God being a two-term Obama fan, not to mention that sax player in the 90s. The fact is, Brody is earnest and sincere when he asks Trump the question. It’s on everyone’s minds, after all — Brody’s heard it from Sarah Sanders and Mike Pompeo, and really, if those two are saying it, how could anyone deny it?
I’ve asked Sarah Sanders this, Mike Pompeo, they all give me the same answer. I say, ‘Was President Trump put in office for such a time as this? Did God put President Trump in office for such a time as this?’ I’ve never asked you that question, what do you think?”
Trump feigned ignorance for just a moment, before going on to add more people that have said God put him in office:
You know, Ben Carson said the same thing.”
He then goes on to fictitiously detail some 2016 campaign in which he ran against a Ben Carson who said that Trump was going to win the entire time, because God wanted him to. That’s hilariously false, because even the devastatingly stupid Dr. Ben Carson isn’t dumb enough to run a campaign founded on the idea that someone else was going to win, and that it was preordained by the Divine Hand of Providence.
Anyway, long story short, OF COURSE Trump thinks God made him President. He doesn’t want to think about it, and says only that he’ll do his best, because if he SAYS God made him President, the 25th Amendment will be trending on Twitter before nightfall.
But you go ahead and judge for yourself whether or not Donald Trump believes he is kissed by the angels:
Featured image via Wikimedia Commons
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