Trump Claims It’s Safe To Go Back To Work If You Wash Your Hands “Five Times More Than You Used To”

Stop shaking your head and read the article.

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The list that most Americans keep mentally filed away entitled “The Dumbest Shit Donald Trump Has Ever Said” is an ever-growing one, but surprisingly, it’s rare to really examine it and move things out of the top spots: His idiotic insistence that he had the biggest inauguration crowd of all time makes the top five for almost anyone; his bullshit backtrack on Mexico paying for his vanity wall makes the cut; there was that time when he was in Texas and then two days later he said he hadn’t been out of the White House “in months.”

Today, however, frustrated by the fact that CNN and MSNBC cut away from his wankfest press briefing yesterday when everyone had heard quite enough of his nonsense, Trump rewarded Fox News’ loyalty to his madness with a ratings-bonanza Town Hall — or at least, I’m sure he thought it would be one.

And while he said a whole bunch of downright stupid shit, one statement he made regarding the coronavirus — literally the scourge of this century — was so dumb I had to go and write a whole article about it.


See, the whole plan to get rid of this pandemic is for every place on earth to just close up shop for as long as possible, try to get everyone to stop sneezing on salad bars and letting their kids lick the shopping cart handles at Target, and get a grip on this thing once and for all.

But Trump can’t allow the idea that the economy might have to be propped up with money that would normally go to his pals in industry going to American citizens instead, and so he is bound and determined to open up the country for “business” once again.

That’s terrifying. In fact, he said by Easter, which is less than 3 weeks from now — a laughable timeframe for recovery from a virus that’s doubled its rate of infection in the last two days, from 25,000 to 50,000 — all because he can’t stand the idea of spending a trillion dollars on saving American workers, but spending 30 times that to save the stock market is just fine.

So when he told host Bill Hemmer that it would be just fine for Americans to go back to work so long as they took precautions, it wasn’t a serious thought. No serious person would HAVE that thought, especially not in the definitely-top-five-dumbest-things way he said it:

We can socially distance ourselves and go to work. And you’ll have to work a little bit harder; you can clean your hands five times more than you used to.”

That’s it. That’s the plan. Wash your hands more.

Has anyone checked to see if COVID-19 kills brain cells? This guy might need to be tested again.

Featured image via screen capture

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