PHEW. Where do we start with this?
So, “standing on the White House lawn” access for the media is not like regular access to a President or even his spokespeople. In a normal administration, they hold press briefings and answer questions and also follow-up questions and emptily promise to get back to you with answers they don’t want to give in the moment, or angrily tell you they’ve already answered a question they haven’t answered.
More importantly, lawn “access” gives Trump a way to say the most foolish things under the cover of helicopter noise and 12-year-old “no, I don’t like you so I won’t answer you” replies. That’s why he feels so at ease confessing to crimes, belittling women, being just kind of generally a dick, AND… saying the craziest shit he ever says on record.
Every once in a while, though, there’s a barn-burner. He combines all of his favorite elements of crazy shit into one statement: The fake phone call from someone that nobody can prove didn’t happen, the importance of the people involved, the heaping of praise upon him by VIP megastar influencer captains of society, the superlative nature of said praise, and how it all relates to the stupidity of his enemies.
If that sounds convoluted, tell me how likely you’d be to believe that Trump would say something like this:
I got a call today from the President of Nambia, and he said that never, ever in the history of his strong, beautiful country has he ever seen his citizens dance with such joy as they did when I flew in there last Wednesday. They were overcome after waiting years for Obama to visit, but he never did. He never did, and that’s a shame, because they’re a very beautiful people, the Nambians, and they deserve a presidential visit that makes them dance.”
Of course, that’s a bit of farce (for heaven’s sake don’t investigate me for fraud and treason!), but admit it — that sounds exactly like something he would say.
And I guess that’s why no reporters burst out laughing when he spouted this horseshit just before “impeachment season” began:
Trump said he got a call from “the biggest pastors” and they told him they’ve *never* seen Christianity or any religion “so electrified” in defense of him since the impeachment inquiry began. The second coming, it seems. pic.twitter.com/qDxhAK7pkV
— Oliver Willis (@owillis) October 4, 2019
Now, we know that Trump believes he’s “the chosen one,” and although that just makes me want to chop off his legs and leave him to die on a volcano planet, it’s worrisome that he still apparently believes it enough to make a false claim about religious leaders in America — or maybe it says something about megachurch pastors, if Trump is telling the truth.
Featured image via screen capture
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