In case you haven’t noticed, Donald Trump has possibly the worst case of verbal diarrhea I have ever seen in all my life. And by that I mean, he talks.
He talks, and he talks, and he talks some more. He says all the words. The biggest and the best words to have ever been made into words in the history of all words ever. But still, somehow, someway, in all those wordy words he words at every given opportunity, very rarely does a single thing make a damn bit of sense.
Because here’s the thing, while Donald really likes to say words, he’s just not so fond of actually thinking about them before they come spewing out of the deep, garbage-filled abyss that is his mouth. I’m assuming that thinking makes his head hurt and his nose bleed and there’s probably some ear-smoking involved if he really pushes it too far, so he just avoids it at all costs.
Frankly, about 99.9 percent of the time, all it does is make him look like a complete and total fucking idiot. However, it does offer us, the victims of his relentless and blatant stupidity, a bit of morbid comic relief from time to time. If you can’t laugh about it at this point, I’m pretty sure we’d all just die.
If you’re finding yourself in need of your life-saving Trump blunder for the day, look no further than right here. I’ve got ya covered.
On the heels of his Davos news conference today, Trump sat down for a one-on-one interview with CNBC and did that thing where he says the words without any real knowledge to back them up again.
When asked about engineer and technology entrepreneur Elon Musk, Donald got weird.
Trump kicked things off with a barely coherent ramble about Musk and his super cool rockets before he switched gears to inventors and geniuses as a whole.
“We have to protect our geniuses,” Trump stated after making some rocket-esque hand movements. “We have to protect Thomas Edison and we have to protect all of these people that came up with, originally, the light bulb and the wheel and all of these things.”
I’m all for protecting people and their intellectual property and inventions. I’m a writer, and God knows nothing makes me more butthurt than being plagiarized.
But it doesn’t seem that Trump understands the fact that we didn’t have a single thing to do with the wheel. Not shit. No. Not even a little. There is no possible way to swing this. Just, NOPE.
The earliest known use of the wheel was as the pottery wheel and its invention came about around 5,500 years ago in Mesopotamia. Later down the road, the Greeks invented a very simple cart that was propelled forward by a single wheel — i.e. the wheelbarrow.
Furthermore, unlike the lightbulb or the telephone, the wheel can’t really be traced back to one single inventor or discoverer. It’s one of those things that just sort of happened. Like… Trump being born and going on to destroy us all in a fiery blaze of stinky ego and spray tan.
Unsurprisingly, Twitter users were quick to offer up their comments on the most recent Trump gaffe:
He has the IQ of a garden salad.
— DeWitt Wolfe (@wolfe_dewitt) January 22, 2020
Now do fire.
— Denise Tate (@stateof_tate) January 22, 2020
Pretty sure his light bulb dimmed and broke long ago…
— Michael (@iammikejv) January 22, 2020
I’m surprised Trump didn’t take credit for inventing them
— Troy L Price (@TroyLPrice) January 22, 2020
Trump knows that Jesus invented the wheel when he was partners with Ben Franklin. Ben said, “I’ll take the kite, Jesus take the wheel.” True Trump fact.
— Moscow Mitch’s Shell Corporation Is People Too (@opus17) January 22, 2020
The wheel? The Mesapotamians are going to be thrilled to hear the Pres is protecting their interests.
— TJ Wagner (@tjwagbeck) January 22, 2020
It was by a guy in Delaware, just before the successful attacks at the airports during the Revolution. How do you not know this?
— tom briody (@briody_tom) January 22, 2020
“We have to protect the people that invented the lightbulb… The wheel… fire….. food…. outer space… dirt… spray tan… KFC gravy…”
— CuyguyEd71 (@TimeoutTweeter) January 22, 2020
But whatever, right? At least he’s not blowing anyone up.
You can watch the clip here:
Trump seems to believe the wheel was invented in the United States: “We have to protect all of these people that came up with, originally, the light bulb and the wheel and all of these things.” pic.twitter.com/re6CyRi6HY
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) January 22, 2020
Featured image via screen capture
Like what you see here? Join the discussion on Facebook over at Americans For Sanity!