Report Claims Trump, During His Trip To See The Troops, Said It Was The First Thanksgiving He’s “Never Had Anything Called Turkey“

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Trump’s family spent their Thanksgiving holiday the same way they spend most of the rest of their holidays as a “presidential” family — kicking back at Donald’s Mar-a-Lago resort. However, Trump decided to mix things up a little this year with a random, unannounced, and highly-secretive trip to Afghanistan to spend a little time with some of our troops who are deployed during the holiday season.

According to a report from CNN, Trump snuck out of his Florida resort late Wednesday night with little more than a few of his closest advisors in tow. The group of incognito Trump employees, along with POTUS, would then board Air Force One at Joint Base Andrews in Maryland, where they were met by a press pool waiting to board with them. Reports have indicated that all reporters onboard Air Force one during the secretive trip were divested of their phones and not informed of the flight’s final destination until there were only two hours left in the 16-hour flight to Afghanistan.

According to reports, even Trump himself was not allowed his beloved smartphone, though White House personnel was sure to continue tweeting from his account for the duration of the flight so as not to raise any red flags surrounding Trump’s absence — because we all know that 16 full hours of Trump not tweeting would be nothing short of an act of God.


Now, while this random little act of Donald’s may seem like a halfway decent good deed out of a man that deserves to be rolled downhill in a locked Port-a-Potty at first glance, let me just stop you before you get your hopes up too high.

Because Donald made just as big an ass out himself in Afghanistan as he does here at home.

During his address to the troops, Trump spent the majority of his time delivering a barely-coherent, rather confused, and extremely self-serving speech in which he patted himself on the back for a booming economy and wonderful 401(k)s.

While there, Trump did seem to humble himself just enough to serve Thanksgiving dinner to the troops, but he just couldn’t get through it without making it about himself yet again.

According to a new report from Politico, Trump passed out around a dozen meals, chatted with Afghanistan President Ashraf Ghani, bragged about his supposed ISIS defeat, and complained because he didn’t get any turkey.

“I sat down, I had a gorgeous piece of turkey and I was all set to go,” Trump stated according to the report. “And I had some mashed potatoes and I had a bite of mashed potatoes, and I never got to the turkey, because Gen. [Mark] Milley said come on over, sir, let’s take some pictures. I never got to my turkey. It’s the first time at Thanksgiving that I’ve never had anything called turkey.”

Reports have indicated that Trump left the base in Afghanistan about three hours after his arrival. But I’m sure they were all super thankful, while away from their friends and families, that Donald dropped in to brag on himself and whine about turkey.

Featured image via Political Tribune gallery 

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