If you think the biggest part of this article is going to be about how the head of a small polling firm, RedFinch Solutions, who’s also the chief information officer at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University, is accusing Donald Trump’s former lawyer of stiffing their company out of half the money he and Trump owed for RedFinch to rig some polls in Trump’s favor during the campaign, paying what he did pay in a paper Wal-Mart sack full of cash, and failing to deliver on his end of a bargain with them, you’re only half right.
The juiciest detail in this whole thing for me, however, is that Michael Cohen admits it all. Except for the cash part… He says they were always paid by check. Other than that — you know, the criminal stuff — Cohen says that John Gauger of RedFinch is absolutely correct.
— Michael Cohen (@MichaelCohen212) January 17, 2019
According to the Wall Street Journal, Cohen gave Gauger a little more than $12,000 in a grocery sack that also had in it a boxing glove Cohen said belonged to a Brazilian MMA fighter.
Of course, being the douchebag that he is, Cohen still requested — and got — a $50,000 reimbursement from Trump’s personal account for the effort, which he never paid to RedFinch. Trump’s new lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, told reporters that the reimbursement proved Cohen was a thief:
If one thing has been established, it’s that Michael Cohen is completely untrustworthy.”
Most of us would actually say that what it establishes, since we all knew Cohen was a lousy human being, is that the Trump campaign was cheating pretty early on, what with, you know, rigging polls in his favor and everything.
And just in case you were busy being disgusted with Trump first and foremost, let’s not leave out what Cohen asked Gauger to do for him personally. The lawyer requested that RedFinch set up a Twitter account purporting to be a group of women who supported him personally as both a surrogate for Trump and a sex symbol. That account is currently active and has been since Gauger set it up for him in May of 2016. The bio on the profile is possibly the best part:
Women who love and support Michael Cohen. Strong, pit bull, sex symbol, no nonsense, business oriented, and ready to make a difference!”
Oh, you’ve made a difference alright, Mike.
Featured image via screen capture