Sometimes the only way to keep from crying about the mess America is in is to have a good laugh instead. We know it’s hard to think of things to laugh about while we face unprecedented global hostility toward our nation due to our terrible leadership, but there’s usually a hero who comes through with something for us.
In this case, it’s a waiter who teamed up with a reporter from Independent Journal-Review to bring you the inside scoop on what Donald Trump likes for dinner. It’s not a stretch to think this is enough of a public interest to report on: Trump is filthy rich AND the President of the United States — he could literally eat crab legs and crème brûleé for every meal (like this writer would), so his choice probably says quite a bit about him.
Unfortunately for Trump, what his choice says about him is that despite the gilded rooms he’s “tastefully” decorated presumably with velvet paintings of himself and possibly his daughter Ivanka, he’s actually trash.
And I mean trash.
Benny Johnson, the IJR journalist, was following the President’s schedule and found out where he was going to eat one night, and slyly booked a table as near as he dared to Trump and his party:
I received a tip from a well-informed source that Trump would be dining at the BLT Steakhouse inside his Trump hotel at approximately 6 PM that evening. I had seen the president dine in the restaurant before after a campaign event held at the property in October. I assumed he would take his regular table, a circular velvet one in the back on the second level of the steakhouse. I called and made a reservation for the balcony level. I wagered that if the president did not show up, at least we would get some nice pop-overs.”
Oh my god. Did I call the velvet, or what?
There are plenty of pictures from the author’s own account of the evening, but it was inside information from the anonymous waiter that caught our eye — a recap of Trump’s order:
The President ordered a well-done steak. An aged New York strip. He ate it with catsup as he always does. The sides and appetizers on the table were shared. Three jumbo shrimp cocktails were delivered before the meal. At one point, the President looked at his watch and remarked ‘They are filming Saturday Night Live right now. Can’t wait to see what they are gonna do to me this week.’ It was hard to serve him because he is so funny and relaxed, it makes you laugh.”
Now go back and read the first three sentences of that quote again, and be ready to answer this when you get back:
What kind of MONSTER orders well-done steak? And “as he always does,” as though there are no lobster rolls that Zagat loves on the BLT menu.
No, no. That’s not why he’s trash. He could just be nervous about undercooked food. I get it, I guess, although if you’re going to order a hunk of charred meat, I’d think a sirloin would do just as well as the three-times-as-expensive NY strip.
No, the trashy part is where he covered it in ketchup. AND he didn’t even call it ketchup, he ordered it with “catsup,” like some time-traveling cast member of “Ozzie and Harriet.”
I knew I didn’t trust this guy.
Featured image via screen capture